2008-04-25

The Things I've Seen...

so driving around LA, you see all sorts of things that confuse/inspire/anger you. here's a few from my last couple weeks. sorry for the crappy photos, but it's tough to snap good pics while driving a stick shift.


up first... this guy. he's got an old-timey motorcycle, a faceless helmet, and, yes, a backpack with a perfectly placed baguette sticking out the top. he's soooo out of central casting, i had to look around to see if i'd driven into a movie shoot. did props put the baguette there?!?!


this old volvo is PERFECTION. right down to the cute mutt hanging out in the passenger seat. (not that there's anything wrong with my old volvo.)


it's hard to see in this photo, but that is a nice drawing of a cow on the door. no other indication of what this truck's owner does. just a picture of a cow on the door. which wouldn't be so weird in wisconsin. but as you can see, this is on venice boulevard in the middle of LA. is there a nearby dairy farm i'm not aware of?


you see these douchebag DUI attorney ads all over the bus system. this one amazes me in its absolutely TERRIBLE picture. who can trust this guy to win in court if he can't even pose for a picture without unconvincingly holding the phone. "hello, amir? this is trevor. it might help your business to not look like an a-hole on your bus bench ad. later."


last one... very bad photo, but you've all seen this before: a hospital employee out in public in their scrubs. this woman, in particular, is wearing a full-on wrap thing on top of normal scrubs, like she's a surgeon or something. doesn't stopping to get gas defeat the whole point of scrubs?! being a bit of a germophobe, i will now be completely creeped out that the guy about to operate on my delicate organs was just touching a filthy gas station pump on his lunch break. i mean, even if you wash your hands, germs get on the scrubs... then back onto your hands... and then into my body orifice. PLEASE, PACK A CHANGE OF CLOTHES!

2008-04-24

Hillary annoys me

didja see hillary's speech in carolina today? olbermann just showed some clips of her practically begging obama for another debate. that's fine. always campaigning. i get that. but like my mom said to me about ten times a day as i was growing up... it's not what you say, it's how you say it. it's subtle, but hillary was DEFINITELY sprinkling in hints of a southern accent. it's pathetic, isn't it?

i can't wait to hear her adopt a britney/madonna british accent next time she's in vermont before an aide whispers in her ear, "we're in NEW england, ma'am. NEW england."

this plus the knee-jerk reaction to lie rather than say "i don't know" or "i have to think about that" really upsets me.

Things that make me go hmmm...

how exactly do scissors know if you're using them right- or left-handed?

2008-04-20

Gotta Buck?

here's something that annoys me and probably no one else on the planet... driving around a lot today and kept seeing burger king billboards promoting their dollar menu. the billboards say "gotta buck?" i'm not stupid. i understand their point. their asking if you have a dollar. but they're actually not asking that. you see, it should say "got a buck?" by saying "gotta buck" they're actually asking "got to buck?" (which means an entirely different thing). "gotta" does not equal "got a." how does this happen? did they just like the look of "gotta" on the billboard? did they not realize their mistake? is it a joke similar to that t-shirt that shows the union jack but has "greece" written under it? are they actually implying "got to buck?" and i'm just too dumb to see the genius of that? no matter what, it annoys the living piss outta (meaning "out of") me. so i just googled to see if ANYBODY else on the planet has noticed this, i found this intelligent blogger... http://littlemissnomad.blogspot.com/2008/04/burger-king-botches-billboard.html (who also brilliantly points out that "gotta buck?" is no shorter than "got a buck?"). are we the only people bothered by this in the whole world?!?! maybe that's good. i don't wanna (meaning "want to") promote burger king if they're gonna (meaning "going to") be all willy-nilly with the english language. f them. i got a buck... and it's going to mcdonalds.

2008-04-18

What the polygamist cult has taught me...



if this is the alternative, i appreciate womens eyebrow grooming now more than ever.

2008-04-17

What the f?!?!

thanks to the cynopsis newsletter for this... wait, is 'thanks' the right word?

i actually made it all the way through. my favorite character? the butchy/boyish fake courtney cox "bruce" pulls on stage.

2008-04-15

Say what now???

Just overheard this at Starbucks... Barista: 'Do you mind waiting? I don't have any coffee.' Tee-hee.